The Upside-down Comb of Death

Agree to Disagree

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The Upside-down Comb of Death


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What, you may be wondering, is the “Upside-down Comb of Death”?

In simple terms, it is like the “Right-side-up Comb of Death”, but upside-down.

https://agree-to-disagree.com/the-comb-of-death

But, what has it got to do with Death?

Well, “The Upside-down Comb of Life” didn’t sound very exciting. But “Upside-down Death” is a certain winner.

And it is showing “global warming”. That causes a lot of deaths.

Or it will in the future, if the “Upside-down Comb of Death” is correct.

Many people have complained to me, that standing on their head, and looking at the “Right-side-up Comb of Death”, was giving them a headache. I don’t like to see people suffer needlessly. So I turned my computer screen upside down, and took a screenshot of the “Right-side-up Comb of Death”. When I turned my computer screen back up the right way, I had created an “Upside-down Comb of Death”. Nobody needs to get a headache any more.

There is only one problem. The “Upside-down Comb of Death” makes global warming look so insignificant, that people are getting eye-strain, trying to see the global warming.

Warning – I will NOT be held responsible for any eye-strain problems, from looking for global warming on the “Upside-down Comb of Death”. I advise people to use the zoom feature of their browser, to make the “Upside-down Comb of Death” bigger.

Please ensure that all parts of your body (including face and hands), are always at least 10 centimetres away from the “Upside-down Comb of Death”. A number of people have made the mistake of thinking that the “Upside-down Comb of Death”, is just as friendly as the “Right-side-up Comb of Death”. The “Upside-down Comb of Death”, is a totally different beast. It has sharp upward pointing teeth, and a number of people have accidentally fallen onto an “Upside-down Comb of Death”, and have ended up impaled on it.

The “Upside-down Comb of Death” displays temperature ranges, for more than 24,000 real locations on the Earth. And I am talking about REAL, ACTUAL, ABSOLUTE temperatures. Not those weak, pale, temperature anomaly things. But real, actual, absolute temperatures.

The “Upside-down Comb of Death” uses the type of temperature range, that goes from the hottest month, to the coldest month”.

When I say “hottest”, I mean the month with the highest monthly average high temperature. And when I say “coldest”, I mean the month with the lowest monthly average low temperature.

All right, it is time. “Drum roll”. Introducing, the first “Upside-down Comb of Death”. This one shows the temperature ranges for the present day. Don’t laugh. We have supposedly had +1.0 degrees Celsius of global warming since pre-industrial times. So some people must have already died from global warming.

When you look at the graph, you will see why I call it a “Comb”. The green shows present-day temperature ranges, and there is no global warming visible. Remember, the green is secretly hiding 1 degree Celsius of global warming since pre-industrial times.

Just so you know, global warming is orange. The IPCC doesn’t want people to know that. But I think that people should know the truth. Present day warming is green (but it has a slight orange tinge).

The Upside-down Comb of Death +1.0 degrees Celsius

Why does it look like a comb?

When I first plotted the data (after I had typed in the temperature data for over 24,000 real locations on the Earth), I didn’t expect it to look like a comb.

I got all of the data, and since I am mostly interested in high temperatures (low temperatures leave me a bit cold), I sorted the data on the “hottest” temperature, followed by the “coldest temperature”. And then I plotted it.

And that was how the “Right-side-up Comb of Death” was discovered. The “Comb” pattern occurs because, for each “hottest” temperature, there is a range of “coldest temperatures. That is where the “Comb” pattern comes from.

So I created a series of “Combs of Death”.

  • +1.5 degrees Celsius of global warming
  • +2.0 degrees Celsius of global warming, and (wait for it),
  • +3.0 degrees Celsius of global warming

“Combs of Death” became an overnight success. Even bigger than Furbys. We have had people working around the clock, trying to keep up with demand.

One unfortunate purchaser (known as “hhga2”), took a “Right-side-up Comb of Death” home, and left it upside-down, when he went to bed. We suspect that “hhga2” may have been drunk, because all “Combs of Death” come with very clear instructions:

  1. always keep “Combs of Death” out of bright light, especially sunlight
  2. never get a “Comb of Death” wet
  3. never feed a “Comb of Death” after midnight
  4. and most important of all, never turn a “Comb of Death” upside-down

Even a moron should be able to follow those instructions. Apparently “hhga2” is not a moron.

When “hhga2” woke up the next morning, he thought that his “Comb of Death”, was dead. He rushed over to check it, and tried to give it mouth-to-mouth resuscitation. “hhga2” is now trying to sue us for $1,000,000 to pay for facial reconstruction. “hhga2” claims that he used to look like Justin Bieber, but we are skeptical.

So now, for your viewing pleasure, here are 3 more “Upside-down Combs of Death”, showing various amounts of global warming. If anybody can work out what they mean, please tell me, because I haven’t got the foggiest.


Sorry. Sorry. I forgot to tell you this:

The most obvious difference between a “Right-side-up Comb of Death”, and an “Upside-down Comb of Death”, is that the “Right-side-up Comb of Death” has downward pointing teeth, and the “Upside-down Comb of Death” has upward pointing teeth.

But there is another important difference. The “Right-side-up Comb of Death” is sorted on the “hottest” temperature, followed by the “coldest temperature”. This is why the TOP is a smooth curve.

But The “Upside-down Comb of Death” is sorted on the “coldest” temperature, followed by the “hottest temperature”. This is why the BOTTOM is a smooth curve.

A “Right-side-up Comb of Death” has a fairly uniform height, over its entire length. But an “Upside-down Comb of Death” is narrow at the “hot” end, and wide at the “cold” end.

There is probably a scientific reason for this, but I am not Einstein, so don’t ask me.

The purpose of the “Upside-down Comb of Death”, is to show how temperature ranges at different locations, will be affected by global warming.

Since humans are being naughty, and are increasing the amount of CO2 in the atmosphere, we can expect temperatures to go up further.

The second “Upside-down Comb of Death”, is with +1.5 degrees Celsius of global warming (at some time in the future). This is the lower temperature limit, that the IPCC would like us to NOT exceed, if we can. Remember, don’t strain your eyes. If you can’t see the global warming, then it is probably insignificant, compared to the temperature ranges. Move on to an “Upside-down Comb of Death” with more global warming.

The Upside-down Comb of Death +1.5 degrees Celsius

The third “Upside-down Comb of Death”, is with +2.0 degrees Celsius of global warming (at some time in the future). This is the higher temperature limit, that the IPCC would like us to NOT exceed, if we can. Remember, don’t strain your eyes. If you can’t see the global warming, then it is probably insignificant, compared to the temperature ranges. Move on to an “Upside-down Comb of Death” with more global warming.

The Upside-down Comb of Death +2.0 degrees Celsius

Because people are not making enough effort to reduce their carbon footprints, the IPCC has asked me to show you an “Upside-down Comb of Death” based on +3.0 degrees Celsius of global warming. They expect that this “Upside-down Comb of Death” will make Alarmists scream in fear, and will make Skeptics repent their evil ways. A word of warning, this last “Upside-down Comb of Death” is not for the faint-hearted.

The Upside-down Comb of Death +3.0 degrees Celsius

Remember, don’t strain your eyes. If you can’t see the global warming on the graph with +3.0 degrees Celsius of global warming, then you either need to get your eyes checked, or you are a real “denier”. It is not my job to judge people, but I can give you a 20% discount on membership to the “Global What?” deniers club (also know as the Climate What?” deniers club, by people who think that “Global What” is too alarmist).

 

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